I sit by the open window, with the beauty of New Zealand stretching out before me – a land I once knew only from documentaries and which has been my big dream. Maybe it’s a cliché – the fern-covered mountains rise toward the sunny sky, beneath which a vast blue lake gently ripples. The silence is broken only by the song of various birds and the whisper of the refreshing breeze – but it’s one of those clichés that never gets old. This view always brings me peace, and yet, deep inside, I feel a strange paradox.
Instead of hiking the mountains and enjoying every moment, I spend most of my time with my hands in the soil, listening to audiobooks, and thinking about what comes next.
Perhaps the approaching end of the year is awakening nostalgia in me and a desire to reflect. Three years ago, I never would have believed that one day I’d live my childhood dream – exploring the world with a backpack, volunteering, and living in the present. I don’t come from a rich or influential family, nobody guided me by the hand, and nothing in my life came easily. Everything I’ve achieved, I’ve done with my own effort and stubbornness.
Still, I know that this development is not solely my doing. I’ve been shaped by the people who have accompanied me through life – whether through their love, support, or challenging obstacles and criticism. Their influence has pushed me forward and has become an integral part of my journey. Without them, I wouldn’t be where I am today, and I wouldn’t have gained the lessons that have taught me to grow.
And yet, now, after years of fulfilling dreams and adventures, I feel a strange fatigue and deep fulfillment. Perhaps it’s time for the next chapter.
From Perfectionism to Action
For a long time, I wondered if I should even return to the online world and start building this website. In a way, I owe this mainly to my family and friends. And what exactly do I want to write about? Perhaps you know that feeling – waiting for the “right” moment, for perfection, for everything to be perfectly thought out and prepared. But the truth is, waiting for perfection means standing still. That’s why I told myself, just like I did years ago: Now, or never.
I believe that writing will help me organize my thoughts, share my experiences, and perhaps inspire you, who are still contemplating change.
From a Crowded Life to Three Boxes and a Backpack
This chapter began in an apartment full of things – hobby equipment, clothes, cosmetics, amazing projects, and responsibilities. My diary was packed months in advance. I loved my life – family, friends, my partner, my cat, a cozy home, and a career. I had everything that should symbolize happiness and success, and yet I felt emptiness and anxiety. My life was full, but not fulfilled.
It wasn’t about escaping, but about searching for something more real. Step by step, I started to free myself from everything that was holding me back. And when I was left with just three boxes and a backpack, my new life began.
What Travel Has Taken and Given Me
I’ve experienced magical moments, but also tough ones. One of the most recent was the night when thirteen men with machetes attacked me in South America. That night, I didn’t just lose the backpack that had been my companion and home for the past few years, but also the inner sense of safety and the childlike curiosity that once drove me forward.
Every second at that moment felt endless. Alone, barefoot, in the middle of the night in a foreign country, surrounded by danger, waiting for the worst. It took me months to find the courage to move forward again. I know that every step – good and bad – has its meaning. And perhaps that’s the message I want to share through this blog: Life is not about the perfect plan, but about the courage to follow what you feel.
What’s Next?
I’ll stay in New Zealand for a while longer, working, resting, and reflecting on where I am and where this journey is taking me. Maybe more adventures, maybe moments of peace. Though I don’t have a specific direction yet, I know that each next step will lead me to another crossroads.
This blog is my guide on this journey, just like the backpack I first packed. With the backpack, I felt freedom and independence; now the blog gives me the chance to share that journey – with you.
Thank you for being here and reading my first steps. I’ll share my stories, experiences, thoughts, and perhaps we’ll find inspiration together…
“What are your childhood dreams and desires?”